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Old 06-23-2012, 01:32 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PinkDragon View Post
So, this is my fear... that Bear is going to spend the morning thinking about this, walk in at lunch and announce that our friend is completely right and that we're done with poly.

This is not acceptable to me... I won't leave my husband over this issue, but I am really afraid of what he's going to say, what he's going to decide based on what our friend said.
So, is your husband's word the law?

This is a terrible way to live, in fear of being dictated to by your partner!

Why wait to see if he comes up with some pronouncement? Be proactive and talk to him about your concerns. You have equal say in your relationship. The door has been opened, it should not be slammed shut on a whim. You have an agreement, now revisit it and make sure he will not be swayed by others' idiocies and judgments. If it is such a possibility, then perhaps there needs to be a stronger foundation under you both, or more clarity in your communication.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 06-23-2012 at 01:34 PM.
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