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Old 06-23-2012, 01:44 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Saskatchewan
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Originally Posted by Eko View Post
My partner is my bestfriend, he is my soulmate, my world. I would do anything to make him happy. I put his happiness before I put my own and I strive to make sure he receives all of the attention, love and support that he deserves.
So that's your first problem, right there. That's called codependence and it's usually not healthy. I use the air plane analogy: you have to put your own oxygen mask on first before assisting other passengers. If you're not taking care of yourself as your number one priority, then not only are you going to get hurt time and time again, but you're also going to be unable to be the best possible support to the ones you love, simply because you're not supported yourself.

This is going to become more and more important if he starts exploring polyamory. You'll need to stay on top of your own emotional health, and you'll need to ask him to slow down when you need to slow down, and you'll need to be good to yourself.

I am not like that, although I certainly wish I was so all of this stress and heartache could just end.
Bzzzz! Sorry, but it's not that simple. Even if you were polyamorous, you would still have all the same insecurities and fears. And then you would add all the insecurities and fears of your boyfriend, and you'd see that it only gets more complicated...

It's a common misconception that people can deal with jealousy by going out and getting their own relationship, but that's just avoidance and does nothing to address the core issues.

I accept him for who he is, in fact I don't even have anything to accept. I love him and all of his qualities, and I would never change a thing about him.
Even when he leaves shaving hair clumps in the sink? Or when he borrows your panties and stretches them out?

Obviously I'm being somewhat fecitious, but nobody loves absolutely all of their partner's qualities. That's not to say you don't accept him how he is, or that you want him to change... but no one is perfect, including your man.

Originally Posted by Tonberry View Post
Are you of compatible sexualities to be in a triad? That is, are you both male, or is at least one of you bisexual if you're an opposite-sex couple?

From what you're saying, it seems to me the worst part for you would be feeling excluded and rejected. Therefore I would suggest trying to get close to any partner he might meet. Become friends with them, get to know them.
This post started out with me going "ACK!" but caught itself shortly after... I would urge away from expecting to get into a triad. There are enough unicorn hunters out there without us breeding them here!!!
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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