I'm down with KISS -- Keep it simple, silly!
If poly, just tell her you want to talk to her about something you are not great at talking about yet because you are confused and in the sorting it out place.
And you want to let her read something, and agree to let her digest it and try to talk about it at a later time when she's digested. Maybe in a week?
And what you most like to hear when she reads it is "Ok. New thing in our relationship to deal with. I love you and we will navigate this as best we can as a team here" and not just launch into crazy at you.
Because you are having a hard time trying to sort yourself out, nervy, and want to turn to your beloved for aid, not abuse.
Then just print the post you wrote above and hand it over for her to read. Take a deep breath and be brave. It is clear enough about your fears, wants, anxieties.
I guess I'm amazed that in a marriage, Life hasn't already thrown you toughies and you don't have a system in place for communication during the toughies?
"Write it out /print out to tape on bathroom mirror / just email it "
tends to work for us. Gives the author time to collect thoughts, gives the reader time to collect thoughts and write back. Meanwhile, spoken word life goes on as usual and we try to be extra kind to each other.
Hang in there!
Last edited by GalaGirl; 06-22-2012 at 07:03 AM.