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Old 12-01-2009, 10:36 PM
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rolypoly rolypoly is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 350
Default more thought.

No matter how consentual it is, sex for the sake of having another body to press against, for the sake of a good orgasm or whatever other reasons people have sex without emotional attachment... to me feels like a huge insult. More than that, it feels like an assault.

My body is a temple.

Certain things without a deep emotional bond I can do: I can kiss strangers, make out with them, hug them.

Sexual energy can be twisted. It can be used to punish, hurt, manipulate, dominate or drain energy from. So can kissing, but it's easy to get out of a kiss that feels "unpure". It's much more difficult to disentangle with a person's energy once things have gone that far.

Sex is energetic to me. Life for me is about connecting with people, getting into their world and exploring with an open heart and a lot of love. I can't do that very easily without knowing a person. So, I can't have sex without knowing a person.

I've always had trouble bringing myself to orgasm because what makes me cum is the energy exchange with someone else. Their smell, the unique way they engage with someone outside of themself.

Performing an act as sacred as sex, for me, feels like trampling through a labyrinth without respecting the path layed out for me to walk. Or walking into a temple while others are praying with muddy boots and a loud voice.

I am able to have sex with 'D' because I know she cares about me first and foremost. I know that my essence is respected. But, I don't get how she is able to fuck without emotional connection.
My heart is too big to fit into one person.
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