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Old 06-20-2012, 09:29 PM
entrprnr entrprnr is offline
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Mountains
Posts: 2
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Hello everyone, update to the situation...

Life got pretty hectic for a bit there but I wanted to say thank you to everyone for your advice. A little irritated by the judgements that I was trying to force my wife into a lifestyle, when I made it clear I was seeking a cerebral understanding. Overall though the criticisms were constructive and allowed me to look at my situation in a different light.

Since I posted this, I've met a gorgeous woman, and we've spent a lot of time texting/talking and hung out a couple of times. Last weekend I stayed the night and our relationship is really flourishing...

I've spent much time talking with my wife, especially when my new interest and I started to experience a deep emotional connection forming. I was extremely nervous about hurting my wife's feelings with the idea that it was becoming more than physical. When I told her about it, expecting her to tell me to call it off she was THRILLED to hear it and actually told me she'd like to see what it was like if I actually fell in love with someone! I was pleasantly surprised at her level of compersion and love for me.

I'm still very cautious and being as considerate as possible to both women. It's to the point of paranoia though, where I am overly concerned with how each feels by the unavoidable crossovers (texting/conversations with one while with the other etc.). It got to the point where I wanted to call it off but after some frank discussions with my wife I feel very comfortable moving forward.

So far, the limited time resources have been a bit of an issue. Fortunately both women are very sweet girls, so I feel like they'll likely be able to comfortably talk with one another at some point so that can be mitigated. They're both separately very nervous about meeting each other, though. I would imagine that's 100% normal.

Anyway, we'll see what happens. There are a lot of issues to be worked through, and with life's demands I'm not entirely sure I can hack it. Fortunately both of these women are as adamant about communicating as I am so we're consistently making sure we're on the same page.

Interesting twist: my wife is mono, this new girl is mono and didn't think she'd ever be in a situation like this; but the way we make each other feel is rare & special to both of us so we're agreeing to cautiously moving forward. I can see some potential issues with both women perceiving a hierarchy of love, which I don't see. I'm going to have to stretch my empathy to understand that dissonance.

Anyway, very happy man here
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