Thanks GroundedSpirit I agree compleatly. I broke up with S because I decided my needs were more important to me then his. With P I feel like I have this freedom to put myself first. He isnt demanding, in fact he encourages me to put myself before him in any situation. Sometimes I dont because I have gotten used to putting S's needs before mine in my past relationship. I am learning how to improove myself in the process of being in this relationship w P. Polyamory seems challanging, but not impossible. Im not sure if im "wiered" that way, I dont think I am, but I can see the benifits of a poly lifestyle inspite of the challanges.
your point is right, about baggage. while i thin keveryone has baggage, its to different degrees and my baggage i have delt with for many years in certain way. P is not accustomed to this stuff. I wish i didnt have it, but i do. Its not an excuse to not improove myself but it does impact my motivation at times. I am a work in progress and that is okay. I just hope P can see that.
Thank you grounded, I feel a more optimistic now. . . got a lot to think about.