Welcome to the forum.
So I have a question for you... you mention your wife dating and having sex with other men, and you give various examples of sexual things that either she could do, or that you would consider doing. But you mention polyfidelity as well. That implies something beyond sex, and something that is quite different - how are you going to feel when she falls madly in love with one of these guys? How are you going to feel when she wants this guy to be such a day-to-day part of your life, not just a sexual fling?
I am guessing from the terminology that you use that this is something that you have considered. What are your feelings on this?
Please check out The Birdcage - an open, friendly Polyamory forum for all parts of New York State
"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb