Thanks for the kind thoughts. Looking back at the last thing I wrote there it does seem a little strong but I was (am still) more than a bit angry about his behaviour. How dare he dump my wife? The idiot! I'm sure he has his reasons, and I'm sure to him they seem very real, but it has left me in a very peculiar position. I can't badmouth him to my wife who is desperately hurting and still more than fond of him, and I really don't want to get into any kind of conversation with him about this - what am I going to say? "My wife not good enough for you?"
I feel more than a little frustrated that I can't think of anything to do or say that will make all this resentment (mine) and unhappiness (hers) just go away. It will. I know we will get to a happy place again. We'll just have to be careful with each other.
I'm also thinking ahead, trying to work out what to say when the most observant and smartest of my kids asks why mummy isn't friends with X any more. (With luck she won't. But she's very intuitive for a 8 year old.)
Life eh? Still, it's better than the alternative.