Just a long
thought, how long have you & your husband been together? You mention not having sex with him in the past 5 years, would it possible that he is (could/would identify as) asexual?
I ask because my partner does identify as asexual; which caused a lot of tense/ frustrated discussion and communication while we were trying to work out why he did not want to have sex, while I identify as both poly and someone possessing a high libido.
In case it provides any help to your situation, there is AVEN
... Things are a lot calmer at home after my partner had time to process his own feelings and come to the conclusion that he does identify that way. I can say that I definitely do not feel sexually towards him anymore, and have only minimal romantic feelings towards him; I do love him, it's just more like a best friend. We talk a lot because I worry about neglecting him, but he's happy just having a companion-- someone he can share evenings at home, meals, and/or social functions with.
As far as our home, he's requested that any lovers I have over be respectful towards him and he is not willing to accommodate a request to vacate his own home, even if for a few hours. I am in agreement, especially given that he is an introvert and the financial powerhouse in our partnership. Neither of these requests/ boundaries has caused me any trouble in my other relationships.