Originally Posted by WonderingSue
Have you always felt "poly", even when you didn't have the word for it? Thanks.
No, I felt twu wub in my first relationship (in my teens). But, within six months, I realized I wanted to experiment. I`ve also been in a mono relationship for 3 years, although out of compromise. I felt mono was the only way I could have regular sex. I basically dragged it as long as I could, before dropping the 'open up' or 'break up' bomb on my partner.
Nowadays, I suppose someone who`s mono or a recent "convert" would be batting above their average dating me, TBQH. At least for the long haul, I think I am better matched with people who have had plenty of sexual experience, partners, and experience in open relationships. And, especially partners who know how to keep what`s private, private (note that I am open not poly).
Yet, who knows? I`m open minded enough to take it on a case-by-case basis. I won`t invest a lot of time on you, however, unless I`m confident that we`re spit from the same dragon.
The way I`ve gotten burned was, I`ve had partners who would agree to an open relationship in theory but act mono. In other words, not give me space, check on me when we were apart, PDA, pressure me to 'fess up' to being with other partners, and just generally passively-aggressively push toward home-making until I felt cooped up.
I guess the opposite end has also happened. I`ve had dates who played fast and loose with my schedule, didn`t communicate, and left me hanging, or vanished without notice, on the grounds that I did not want a 'serious' relationship and that I made them 'confused.'