Thank you all for your kind and helpful replies!!
You definitely have a point and I often feel this is the only thing to do. I'll actually check out an apartment tomorrow which happens to be for rent close to my home and which I could share with a friend's friend to save some money. I imagine to be based in our house, though, and only sleep in the apartment once or twice a week. But then I could bring home whoever I want. Amazing!
Even if it's only friends for having some beers together. My husband is not a very social person. (He'd never ask me not to bring home people but I feel how he gets uncomfortable so I keep it to a minimum.)
Okay, that's no clear cut, I admit. I blame the extraordinary housing costs over here. And I hope I'm not just taking the easy way out by blaming them...
Great to hear about people in similar situations! Does your husband see someone else? Have you always had a poly-friendly relationship with him or did you open up when you met your bf? Where and when do you meet with your bf? Do the kids know?
He didn't want my gf (or someone else) to sleep over in our house. They have met, we had dinner together once and he actually invited her for coffee once (when she brought me home). But that's about it and I think it's reasonable. At least as long as he has the idea that we should carry on. Maybe this would change if would date someone, but I can't really see this happening. He is also very sensitive to what people think which often keeps him from doing what is good for him (in many respects).
So even if I understand his wish and will definitely respect it, bringing someone for dinner once every other month is not enough for me.