View Single Post
Old 06-18-2012, 11:05 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

I think all three of you communicating will be LESS confusing. Otherwise, you get into all that he said, they said, we said bullshit and crossed wires. There have been people here who had that kind of point person rule and it usually winds up feeling very oppressive to the person left out of the loop.

It's a pretty dumb idea if you ask me to only have one person in "the couple" talk to the person who is outside the couple. First of all, it separates you into a "Couple Plus One" mentality. But if you want a Triad, there are four relationships: A+B, B+C, C+A, and A+B+C. I see no practical reason on earth to have rules about only one of you talking to him. What you all need to do is sit down together and make sure you are all on the same page about needs,wants, goals, etc., and then if you are all honest with each other and clear in your communications, it should work. Plus you can all Skype together or conference a call for all three of you.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.
Reply With Quote