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Old 06-18-2012, 08:16 PM
tiggerdatiger tiggerdatiger is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Southern California
Posts: 27
Unhappy A unique rule in open relationships?

My partner and I are in an open relationship (both our first) for only 7 months now. We had met someone that we both liked at a party recently. It seemed that Dennis liked the both of us, as well. Dennis had texted just me after meeting, letting us know it was great to meet the both of us, I had responded with equal excitement. Then, after our communication had dropped, 2 days later, Dennis had texted my partner with the same sentiment. They had continued having a further texting conversation over a week or so (I didn't know any of this)... leading up to a moment where Dennis decided to go out of town to go to Hawaii for 4 days. My partner (last minute) invited himself along, and Dennis was into it. In the end, perhaps because of cost, the fact that we had plans, etc., my partner decided not to go. He let me know after the fact about this exchange, which took some pulling of teeth to find out. When I started to pick communication back up with Dennis (wanting to maintain my place in our exchange, as well as make a plan where the 3 of us can meet up after our first encounter), my partner let me know that it should only be 1 person out of a couple that becomes the main contact, as it can lead to mixed communications, etc., if the 3 of us are all chatting. I was equally excited about Dennis, but may have dropped the ball in communication originally (was planning on picking it back up), and feel like my partner might be working to build a separate relationship with Dennis, potentially wanting to exclude me from it (out of selfishness, insecurity?). A potential Hawaii trip would've excluded me. I've asked him to hold off on meeting up with Dennis separately until we get to meet him once again as a couple, and then go from there. We've talked about all of this, and my partner maintains that when it comes to communication, it should still only be 1 person that is the main contact (him now), and why would I feel insecure about him going on a trip with someone that we met together? Has anyone heard about this type of rule (the 1 main contact from the couple) and do you have any advice along these lines about the situation in general... something I'm missing regarding this situation? It's seemingly our first agree-to-disagree moment in our relationship... doesn't feel too good.
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