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Old 06-18-2012, 06:05 PM
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lovefromgirl lovefromgirl is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: The Great Soggy Northeast
Posts: 353

You're enmeshed.

Your brother should not be able to disrupt your life this much over something that pertains to you and your partners. Now that he's shown you that he's willing to do so, and will also heap blame on you for his inability to handle things (hint: it's HIS inability), not talking about the "heated" stuff is definitely a good move and a great step towards establishing healthier boundaries.

He needs someone else's car to ferry him around or else he needs a license and a beater. He's been qualified as disabled; I would hope it's easier with that designation (me, I'd have to fight pretty hard and/or pay through the nose). I would like to point out that you also have partners who can do the free bodyguard thing for you, if you're shopping in that harsh a neighborhood.

How he sees poly is the tip of the iceberg. Underneath the surface, from what you've written, there's so much more that he feels he's entitled to control about you. If it's making you unhappy, then put that out there in therapy. And if you can't do that, then get used to being trod on by him in your future personal decisions.
"I swear, if we live through this somebody's going to find their automatic shower preferences reprogrammed for ice water."

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