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Old 06-18-2012, 05:40 PM
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SNeacail SNeacail is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Near Disneyland
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Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
My communication skills were a bit better as I told him how I feel, but later launched into sarcasm and accusing. Its so hard to get it right when I feel threatened, fearful, that I am being lied to... I did better than I have so far though and that was good enough for me.
WOW, this sounds familiar... too familiar. Those damn sarcastic comments just have a mind of their own.

Mono also gave me the feed back that I needed to work on it more.
I hate hearing this too.

I don't think he got it until recently that his keeping his connection with her secret could be seen as one way emotional cheating. He thought that he could keep it in, handle it and that it would all be okay as long as he didn't act on it.
This tends to be a typical "guy" thing. When my husband does this, there is a great deal of denial going on also. He doesn't want it to appear a certain way, therefore in his mind it doesn't. He can't understand why all my cheating alarms went off and I'm now an emotional wreck. I am learning to calm myself through my initial outrage, consciously decide to give him the benefit of the doubt and then approach him with my questions as well as calmly tell him that certain actions set off the cheating alarm,etc. It doesn't always work, but when it does, I feel better and he makes a greater effort to be more transparent. I still have a lot of work to do on my delivery .
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