I think the ceremony will be a good thing. I know some people are against bringing kids around when it comes to death and dying, but honestly in a lot of cases I don't think it does them any favours. It's important to have that time to say goodbye.
And look how far you've come! The spinning has slowed down a bit, I can see that. Sometimes it just takes time and reassurance for an eventual centering of self. I realize I'll need that myself for an upcoming event my SO and I are supposed to be going to.