Thread: space and time
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Old 06-17-2012, 08:41 PM
Magenta Magenta is offline
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: western europe
Posts: 6
Default space and time

Hi there,

I'm not sure whether I'm doing the real poly thing (whatever that would be) but I have a question that is related.

I am married with three kids, living with my husband. We get along quite well as long as I have the freedom to see others (which is rather new to us and still makes me feel very bad).
Before we decided to open up I felt under pressure, this has faded now. Being able to hang out with others relieves me. I don't project all my expectations on one single person... which makes us get along better.
He was very hurt when I first mentioned I wanted to open our relationship, but now seems okay with the situation.

I don't know whether we are actually loving partners anymore. I do care about him. A lot. But we haven't had sex for five years and I can't imagine this anymore. (A note on this: We have always been imbalanced, me wanting more sex than him. In the last years he never took any initiative. If I didn't start it, there was no sex. I felt neglected but didn't want to bother him. Big mistake, I know. I hoped that he would miss our sex life eventually and would show me he wanted me - but no. So now we are here. - But we had other issues as well.)

So this is how we live. Three kids, two parents getting along but not entirely sure how future looks. We will always be connected, we care about each other and we care about our kids. But I have to learn to care about myself, too, again.

And now I'm wondering:
How, when and where can I meet other people? I can't bring them home, that's for sure. Here goes my husband's border and I have to respect that. Actually I can't imagine that either.
So do we have do rent a second apartment? How do you guys solve this?!?

This was basically it. A simple question, a lot of text

Thanks for reading me
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