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Old 06-17-2012, 08:24 AM
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Phy Phy is offline
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Originally Posted by rory View Post
In my end, Alec finally came to the decision that he cannot stay in the job he has. He has been so miserable, and I totally support him. Then again, our finances have been quite uncertain as it has been, so the consequences of him quitting cannot really be foreseen.

[...] I got the news from Alec, and I crossed into a slight panic about the future.
So know what you are going through there. It has been like this for us more than one time even though we never had to face the fact that Sward really didn't want to continue in his job. Things are better now, but there is nothing more draining than a job, you need to do every day after day after day without any sign of improvement, without the slightest bit of joy you are able to take in the thing you are doing.

Even though this will be a time of adjustment and maybe some hard times financially or in regard to a feeling of safety missing in your everyday life for now, you will be glad you took this step as soon as he found something to really be satisfied with job-wise. Hugs to you and Alec for facing this rough truth.

Originally Posted by rory View Post
Heavy talks follow with Alec. There was this one day in particular when I was needed for support by both of my partners, and by the afternoon I was feeling more exhausted than in a long time. I felt like I had no more to give.

[...] I had looked forward to all the enjoyable connecting and hot sex and everything. Well, some of that happened, too, and was truly lovely. Yet, I felt somewhat disappointed about the fact that neither of us really had much energy for that. However, I do think that is how life is, and that is a part of being partners. And it's not like having heavy talks isn't connecting, too. It's probably due to having had such a long time since we last met, that I would have had more need for that, and it left me aching a bit.
I think that you are absolutely right, this is what being partners is about. I personally feel so taken care of, connected, protected and assured when times like that are over. Assured by the firm knowledge that those people will be in my life despite some hardship and trouble. That they are there to stay for good and that they are able to get something out of this in the 'not so great' times as well as be a pillar of support for me. That is what commitment is about for me.

Originally Posted by rory View Post
One thing that I am happy about is the whole comfort I experienced with me and Mya and Alec. I'll try to explain that. There were a few days when none of us were feeling like we had a lot to give. We didn't hang out a lot in a group, and some meals were eaten in silence. Can't say any of us felt very happy. Yet, it wasn't awkward or uncomfortable. It was just how things were. I feel there is something that shows - I don't know - intimacy, comfort, family when people can hang out together without trying to seem happier than they are actually feeling.
Exactly. There is beauty in silence if you are with the right person. I always felt this to be true and a sign for me who really is comfortable just being by my side. I often have a hard time 'letting go' in regard to control. But don't have to be controlled next to the people who should know you best. It seems that all of you are doing pretty well. I hope things will easy up again and as soon as possible. Wishing you luck.
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.

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