Time for another friends/lovers story from the admittedly excessive chart I included in my blog here
Drew is a friend of Carob's and mine. Actually I met Drew first, over a decade ago, at a party at a mutual friend's place. I didn't know at the time that C was another flatmate. He was at the party too... Yet another missed connection with him. Guess living in a small-ish city with relatively intertwined circles, you pass people a lot just beyond your peripheries before you meet them properly.
A funny moment with Drew soon after Sago and I got together. The three of us (Drew, Sago and me) were sitting outside a pub drinking a beer together, and Drew said "so what, are you two boyfriend and girlfriend now?" At the same time, S said "yes" and I said "no"... hehe... Then we said "ah, I guess we need to talk about this". Hilarious.
When Drew found out that Carob and I had hooked up, he was (and actually still is, I think) against it. He is still friends and doesn't really voice his opinion unless you ask him (which is probably why we can still socialise alright with him) but at various times (mostly to C) he's said things like Sago and I having a "sham marriage", that we're fooling ourselves, that this can't actually be right. He's fine with us doing whatever with our lives, but he sees us waking up to reality at some point and admitting that he was right.
Well, Drew is married to Olive who I've since gotten to know more and am friends with. Apparently Olive found out that D had cheated on her with another friend's (Antonin's) ex-girlfriend. So... they made this deal giving Olive five 'free passes' (considering Drew cheated five times) with someone else. And to add to the perfect symmetry (I find this all quite twisted by the way), Drew suggested that Olive have sex with Antonin.
We-ell... this all happened, however
Olive committed the cardinal sin of writing flirty e-mails with Antonin while she co-ordinated her five free fucks. Drew found out, and felt like O had cheated on him
by getting emotionally invested rather than just having sex.
Olive's told me that while she and Antonin were doing their thing, she really enjoyed her relationship with Drew. She would like if things could have continued, but she really doesn't see this as possible since Drew is very monogamous in outlook.
Meanwhile, Drew is really pissed off with Antonin to the point that we can't invite them both to the same social occasion. He's on the brink of Olive breaking up with him (oh they have a kid too, a real cutie!) because he is unwilling to entertain the possibility that their relationship may work out healthier (and be actually possible / sustainable) if he was open to O being with other people.
All this is fine (well, relationships may have to end over it, but it's all fair enough) apart from... Drew is not really the monogamous type in the way he behaves. He tried to hook up with me when he and Olive had just got together. O knows he rolls like this and she understands him... well... ah, who knows. The point of this tale is not to speculate about their lives
It was more that - this shit is tangly! And it's bizarre watching it unfold given Drew's long-standing objection to Sago, Carob and me being a viable way to grow a relationship.
It's hard to know how to be good friends to them all at the moment, i.e. how to be supportive of people when what each of them wants may not be compatible with the other. Just trying to be especially caring at the moment, a sounding board if need be. Not taking sides, keeping communication open etc etc.
Another point - Olive has made out with me a few times at parties and such - recently she told me that Drew wouldn't be happy about it (?!) Ah man, I wish people wouldn't do things that are breaking the rules with their partners. At least not do them with me. Maybe I should be more vigilant about this. (I actually have started to be after a few unintentionally bad experiences with friends. Whoops)
Well enough of that Saga. One more tale and we've made it through the whole chart. Yay