I've allowed my self to admit that I'm really not comfortable with this. I've been trying to rationalize it, tell myself that it's just normal jealousy that I can deal with... but I don't think it is. This is my best friend. She's been my friend for 14 years. That's much different from some random chick he meets at a bar. It's not even about damaging the relationship, although that's also a factor.
At the end of the day, I think I feel that it's not fair of them to ask this of me. I feel like I'm being put in a tight spot, where I'm putting pressure on myself to agree to something deep down feels wrong.
Like many of you said, I have to trust my gut. First, that required really acknowledging what my gut is telling me, and that it's not just being selfish or squeamish or irrational, but that it's trying to tell me that this is not a good road to go down.
What I haven't mentioned here, and was downplaying to myself all day, is that this woke me up at least twice last night. Previous times when I've dealt with jealousy or uncomfortable feelings about my husband's penis in another woman's vagina, it's never had such a visceral, physical reaction such as the knots in my stomach or waking up thinking about it. I need to let myself acknowledge that my body knows something my brain won't admit, and I need to go with it.
Thanks for everyone's input.
“As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.” —bisexualbaker