Originally Posted by AnnabelMore
Phone sex = sex! (the brain is the biggest erogenous zone, after all)
Long distance domming = domming! (what the hell else would you call it???)
I don't consider anything overtly sexual flirting - to me, flirting is playful and fun and teasing without actually bringing sex into the conversation at all. Sure, sexual overtones are there, but there is no actual sexual interaction. My definition of flirting.
Honesty is crucial. It doesn't sound like he's being honest with anyone here since he's lying to himself about what the boundaries mean, lying to you about what he's doing, and lying to the people he's involved with (if he has discussed what is and isn't okay with them, anyway). Once again, though, I'm one of those people that believes hiding something is lying while some people thing that it's only lying if you actually tell a falsehood. Even if he isn't outright lying to your or the people he's involved with, he's misleading in a big way.
What do you feel is unfair about your expectations? They all seem pretty reasonable to me. maybe the ban on anything BDSM-related could be a bit harsh, although I understand that a true D/s relationship can be very intense and requires attention and energy, I would think he could engage in some minor BDSM activities without it really affecting his other relationships. I may be wrong here, though, since I'm not really versed on those practices. The principle of the matter is that he agreed to the boundaries, though, and should have approached you to discuss changing them instead of just bending them to what he wanted them to be.