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Old 06-15-2012, 08:17 PM
dancethroughlife dancethroughlife is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 3
Default Thrown into a Vee

Hi! So I'm both new to this forum and to experiencing Polyamory as well.

I'm a young, gay male who fell in love with another gay male in his twenties about three months ago. He had a boyfriend when I met him, and he still does. They were in an open relationship, and the connection between us was so strong that I decided to pursue something with him.

His boyfriend went out of town for six weeks, and I relished this time with him to develop something. During this time he proposed to me the idea of being both with me and his boyfriend. At the same time, his boyfriend also found out while he was away. I blew it off in my mind, thinking I would end it as soon as his boyfriend got back.

Yet when his boyfriend got back, I still had a strong connection to him and didn't want to let go. I hung out with his boyfriend, and we've been getting along now really well. We're both more of the monogamous type, but he's had three years to let go of jealousy and let our common root have his way. I, however, have had only four weeks now to get used to the idea of him actually being with his boyfriend.

In all honesty, if I could have him to myself, I would love that. Yet, this boy I love isn't happy unless he has both his boyfriend and myself. I'm trying to get over little things, and I've made some progress. Sex is still a huge issue. I can't seem to handle the idea of him having sex with other people. We're also still freshly romantic, and I feel that recent emotional events of realizing my connection with him isn't exclusive has also pushed me away from him a bit. I feel like if I had more time I could deal with it, but he's not very patient. We always communicate honestly and openly, which I've been very proud of. He's a pretty stubborn person, but he's very sweet.

I'm wondering how to still have romance with him and have sex, but at the same time to get over my jealousy and just love him. I'm so new to all of this. I've faithfully and rigidly followed a monogamous desire my whole life, but I just can't seem to let go of him. Have any of you ever experienced this? How did you deal with it? Do things get better with time?
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