husband and best friend want to have sex
I'll try to be succinct, but more details may be necessary for clarification so please ask.
My best friend, practically my sister, is coming out of a psychologically and verbally abusive relationship. She lives in another city, and my husband works out of town about 1 hour away from her, on a 10-day-on/4-day-off cycle. He has been staying with her at night because she's afraid her ex will come back and do something stupid.
While they were together, they started having sexual feelings towards each other. They'd like to pursue a sexual, non-romantic relationship. Their motivation is a combination of "convenience sex" as well as reminding her that there are guys out there who aren't like her ex.
My husband has a long track record of successfully avoiding romantic feelings in sexual relationships, as well as letting girls down gently and remaining friends if they start to get attached. My friend has had fuck buddies before without getting attached. They've played together at fetish events before, and while it was a little weird after, there were no lasting effects on any of our relationships. They're both confident that they can avoid a romantic involvement.
Obviously, an arrangement like this (best friend with husband) can only work out if everyone is open and honest. That's already off to a bad start. First, they had "sexually charged cuddling" for two nights in a row before the question of sex was discussed with me. This has been addressed, but is still a cause for concern. Second, she doesn't communicate well and I don't think she's capable of being fully open and honest.
What are people's thoughts on this? Obviously I have some reservations or I wouldn't be posting, but I'm not sure how much of that is irrational fear, and how much is rational, based on reading failed experiences of others in similar situations.
I don't need labels to define me. They're sticky and I hate the glue they leave behind.
Last edited by SchrodingersCat; 06-15-2012 at 07:37 PM.