Yay, I am my own hero.
That was nice, we had a bit of a serious talk, there were some things needed to be said.
I said. I know you did something last week and I don't really care that you did that what bothers me is that you were so uncomfortable in my presense after that. I don't want you to ever be ashamed or guilty because of me. I then did a bit of NLP made an anchor touching her knee and said "if we could just get this last year and we could take all of the crap out of it, all of that silly niggly shit, and burn it, wouldn't that be amazing", and touched the anchor again.
I kept taking a moment to listen, taking a moment to think before I opened my mouth. If what I wanted to say felt bad, I didn't say it. I only said what felt right, it is entirely possible to get this right if I am mindful, present - what a revelation. Within half an hour we had unraveled all the stuff between us.
Now we are close again. Close friends, we always were. We are not a couple we have something really solid there is no need to force it. We will see each other, fuck, love, enjoy. I will handle my own shit, I will get a life. We are NOT an item. we both made that clear. it was too much bullshit and not enough respect. Demands are crap, love, no limits.
So lets see how it pans out. I have a lot of work to do, and I'm really keen to do it. I need to keep the focus on me, emotional, physical, spiritual, financial. A balanced life helps balance the mind. Thoughts are the key to it.
I must now quote myself
"Every cock in her mouth was a dagger in my heart"
I love that line hehe.
After the brief and slightly uncomfortable talk we relaxed and had a great night chatting and fucking.
Nothing is wrong now, all is right with my world. My path and M's paths are different, anything is possible this may change but if it doesn't I will meet someone amazing. Time to go write some comedy I'm feeling a touch bemused by it all.