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Old 12-01-2009, 03:40 AM
Mark1npt Mark1npt is offline
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Sunny FL
Posts: 346
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RP...you are one strong, independent gal! You've got more guts, heart and love than just about any women I've had the chance to converse with in my 52 years....and yes you and the rest of us will struggle til the day we die to become fully independent from our parents. It is the curse of us children!

Of course, our parents view it quite differently.....as my wife and I were throwing around the idea of having kids about 22 years ago, I nonchalantly took a poll of about 100 of my patients during that year. The results? 99% in favor of their having had kids......99% preferred having had boys. I had two, thank my lucky stars! The real honest, sharpest response I had was from a 78 yo Jewish grandmother, when I asked her to describe what it was like to have kids...her response? "It's eternal!" She reminded me that she worried every day about her children and their children and would, no matter how old they were....... til the day she died.

You've done everything you can to help your family understand, RP.......unfortunately some older generations, or more conservative types can't wrap their heads around many of today's lifestyle choices, not just ours. Some Jewish families, can't embrace the new Catholic wife, some ethnic tribes will never recognize anyone who marries outside their clan. You can't live your one and only life to please everyone else at the expense of your own life or love, or happiness. And there are just way too many dysfunctional people out there who haved lived long, painful, unhappy lives the old traditional way....and expect us to, too! I'm sorry, but my one life to live is mine, not theirs.

You are a great mother and wife, from what I've read....... and lover, too (well...... I'm taking certain people's word on that!) It certainly hurts to know that our old families may shun or disown us, but remember....You have started your own chain, your new family with your husband, your son and now Mono.....at some point all of our older family will be gone anyway and we'll have only our "new" family left around us. Isn't it quite comforting to know that you've laid out such a great foundation for the rest of your life? You have another half life to live, atleast. Enjoy it, with the people you love, who have the chance to live it and share it with you. Certainly you will miss your old family members, or your old way of life, surely as you will when they pass on to the big old spaceship in the sky!

I know this can't make it all better for you, but hugs to you and your own new clan.
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