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Old 06-14-2012, 09:17 PM
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lovefromgirl lovefromgirl is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: The Great Soggy Northeast
Posts: 353

Since my metamour is both monogamous and not comfortable with my partner outing himself to her family, and my family's perfectly fine with polyamory, I came into this understanding that she needed a certain amount of preservation of status quo. We also don't care as much about the same holidays. I just don't do Thanksgiving, either American or Canadian; they have their pick of either. New Year's has come to mean more to the three of us, and I like to have my partner for Halloween and Beltane if I can. It means something that he's there for the thinning of the veils.

I should mention that I'm not sure it's a matter of poly vs. mono when it comes to a third partner/secondary/whichever wanting to be part of holidays. If it were feasible, I'd love to be part of their family celebrations, but it's not and I respect why. So I can't be part of holidays? It's really more important to me that when I have a need, we can meet it. Last year, for instance: my uncle died and I couldn't travel to the funeral or be alone in the house for any length of time. He came to look after me. He was there with me in my grief and illness. A thousand Christmases couldn't mean anything more than that.
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