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Old 06-14-2012, 07:26 PM
blytheandbonny's Avatar
blytheandbonny blytheandbonny is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 22

Hi goodnightmoon, and welcome to the forum!

Originally Posted by goodnightmoon View Post
I got engaged! And a few days after that, my fiancÚ, C, brought the idea of an "open marriage" to my attention.


We had long talks, for days, and I eventually chose to look into it. I read multiple books, including: "Open" as well as "The Ethical Slut"(my favorite) and talked to people, talked to C, read your wonderful forums, and really took sometime to myself to decide the benefits of this lifestyle. I had a lot of self conflicts, but I began to really see a positive behind everything. My main issue I was dealing with was my jealousy.
Um, I'm sort of new to all this myself, but my question here is what your fiancÚ means by "open marriage". I think there's an important nuance between that and poly. How do you feel in general (situation about G aside) about his being emotionally tied to someone else v. just sexually tied?

She knew about me at the time and determined that there would be no future with him because of the situation and she wanted to say goodbye, in person.


Around that same time, C mentioned that G had been talking to him privately about how she felt that she needed someone who could give her themselves fully, but she didn't want to let him go.
This doesn't sound like she's into the idea of poly and would not support being a mono with him being poly to me. And I'm highly suspicious of "wanted to say goodbye in person," honestly.

From what you've described, this, to me, doesn't sound like a healthy situation. I applaud your research and his openness of communication with you - but this other woman doesn't sounds supportive of your relationship, which as I understand the construct, means she's not really a good addition to your lives together.

Best of luck to you!
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