I appreciate this thread. It has been something I have had to realize for myself to. It is hard to stand by and watch others make decisions that seem to be ripe with potential drama and damage. Finding a balance between just being supportive and the desire to ride to the rescue is a challenge.
The longer I have sat with my instinct to ride to the rescue, the more I have realized that it is often more about how it makes me feel about myself to be of help than it is for the one in need. Realizing that has been embarrassing and somewhat painful. I think that a lot of us jump in to 'help' as a way to avoid our own shit at times. That just isn't healthy.
When a partner is hurting, the first instinct is to ease the hurt....sometimes they just need to sit with the pain in order to come to their own conclusions and to learn. Riding to the rescue does not help. I've been on the other side of that to. Just listening and reflecting back what one hears can often be of the most benefit.