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Old 06-14-2012, 03:37 PM
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PhilosophicallyLost PhilosophicallyLost is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 47
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I'm his sister...sorry if that was not clear before.

I'm pretty much M's world, in a lot of ways. I have my husband, E, friends and confidants. I have other people in my life, and I have myself. M has primarily just me to confide to. M does get SSI and lives on his own in the aparment building next door, but he doesn't have a car so I've been driving him to a lot of places for doctor's appointments. We were hoping to get his driver's license by the end of summer. He has taken the bus to go to school and did all that on his own, which I was pleased by because it seemed like he was becoming more independent. Still, all his worries about his health and the state of the world he only felt comfortable telling me. So in a lot of ways he does seem to live through me.

We do go grocery shopping together, but since we end up going late at night sometimes I see it more as having a free bodyguard, so I don't really mind that. Still, we do have to coordinate schedules to do it which sometimes can be restrictive.

I have felt controlled off and on by M's feelings regarding my personal decisions. He did not handle me dating Y a few years ago well at all, and he'd get upset just randomly when I felt I was doing perfectly normal things. He had serious abandonment concerns back then which were very hurtful, as I never have abandoned him. I feel like he is too emotionally dependent on me...I wish he would learn to depend a bit more on himself for the sake of his mental health. Because being this attached has landed him in a hospital, and I don't think it should have....

I do agree he needs some professional help. Whatever he's had in the last few years hasn't helped him break out of his shell the way he needs to...so I will try to push that issue somehow. I will probably have to drive him though, so I have to consider that investment of time until he can get his own car.
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Me: K, female, 27. Married to Y for over 4 yrs (male, monogamous, 33). Opened relationship to E (male, monogamous, 27) in a relationship vee.

Last edited by PhilosophicallyLost; 06-14-2012 at 03:40 PM.
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