Originally Posted by Legion
As for married people or people in otherwise mono relationships, I say if the attraction is there, perhaps they aren't as mono as they think they are. I don't want to be a part of a deception, so if a monogamously engaged potential partner wants to pursue something with me, it needs to be above board.
I didn't even know poly was a thing until about 4 years ago. A poly couple (very close friends though we live in different cities) came out as such to me and my husband. Of course it quickly became apparent that the guy would be quite happy to get closer to me if we were open to that, heh. Nothing doing because RugbyMan wasn't (and still isn't) okay with going there, but it sure opened my eyes to what's inside me!
So to my mind there is a huge awesomeness factor in being the poly person who sits down with a married/mono person or couple and says, did you ever know there was another way of doing this stuff...? It might lead to nothing or else be the biggest gift you ever gave someone (self-knowledge, acceptance, and not feeling like a messed-up deviant freak anymore, just to be going on with). But it's like starting a marble rolling down a mountain, it's going to take a while to get there if it ever does, and any sort of rushing or pressure to open up would be massively creepy.
It seems important to add that I'm not saying to go recruiting or proselytizing in general; this is in reference to what Legion said about seeing or sensing attraction/flirtation from a married/mono person.