different modes of interaction
I have acted differently depending on the situation and the person I am connecting with. Sometimes we are talking about ourselves and it is perfectly natural to have the conversation about lovestyles and my polyamory. Other times we are connecting over a shared interest like traveling or sports and a philosophical/ethics/what have you convo about poly just isn't part of the natural flow of things.
I do know that I have definitely screwed up by not being forthcoming about being poly. It is generally based on fear of rejection once I start to realize I am really into this person and worried that once I breach the subject I will be defending my way of life rather than continuing to keep gaining intimacy with them. I know this is not the correct course of action and unfortunately keep learning the lesson over and over. The intimacy gained is not true intimacy the moment you start actively hiding things from the other person and it is very hard to backtrack and gain that ground back again. Honesty is the best policy, even if it leads to rejection. At least I will still have my morals and beliefs intact.
It's kind of messed up, but I see needing to tell someone about being poly somewhat akin to telling them if you have an STD or kids or a warrant out for your arrest. It might make them shy away from you but they are important and relevant facts about you that they need to know to be able to truly accept you for who you are and not a false image of you that you are building to try and deceive them into accepting you.
Often he had been often bound with fetters and chains, and the chains had been rent asunder by him, and the fetters broken in pieces: neither could any man tame him...and he asked him, What is thy name? And he answered, saying, My name is Legion: for we are many.