Not sure if you've decided about the actions you're going to take in regards to how you're going to handle this situation you posted about it the first place, but I hope you're making some progress on that front.
Progress will be slow, since this latest blowout with our mutual friends has only happened in the last few days. I sent him an e-mail with a link to this thread & he's read part of it. He agrees that it's wise to step back, "try to be friends" and see how things play out. It's difficult to make any real progress on this without her actually being present, instead of her being on the road. I absolutely don't want to hash this out with her over e-mail or text messages.