Welcome to our forum.
It sounds like polyamory might be something that could work for you and Anders, as long as you take it slow and give him time to process. Popular/traditional society ingrains us with a lot of ideas about monogamy being "the one and only way."
However you work it out, I hope this online community will be a positive part of your journey. There will be many people who can benefit from your story as well.
Glad to meet you here.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"