Originally Posted by poeticwatcher
I think I finally understand why some polyamorous people say they won't date other poly or poly-leaning people...
Clearly my proofreading skills fail, that should read "...why some poly people say they ONLY date other..." Apologies if that caused confusion.
Originally Posted by dingedheart
Have you bounced this problem off your life partner and all the other play partners. What do they think?
How often do you see this guy vs the others ?
What's the downside of waiting to see what happens ?
I have spoken to my other partners; of note maybe: most of them have all met at one point or another and are on friendly terms. The general response has been, they are concerned because they can tell this bothers me on some level; most have suggested they support options (b) or (c), whichever I ultimately choose. The poly couple who are cuddle-rope partners think that it's a bit cruel that he will only fight to keep parts of the relationship, but we all have agreed, there in lies the potential rub of a poly person having a relationship with a monogamous person.
I see my Top on Sunday afternoons & it has been worked out/ agreed upon that I stay overnight with him Sunday. Some weeks, I'll get out of the house and see him for a few hours one weekday.
I see my other lover once or twice a week, usually between the hours of noon & 4pm (as he works 3rd shift, and I head home about the time my partner is getting off first-shift work).
I see one or both of the poly couple once or twice a week, depending on all of our schedules.
There has not been to my knowledge any complaints about time spent, and I am pretty consist (I think/ hope) about keeping communication open.
Potential downside to waiting: Fallout if it indeed happens, not that I am afraid I will not survive. Been through plenty of breakups, pretty confident I will live. Only other downside is I deal with anxiety and my brain likes to stew over unknowns and what-ifs. I recognize that, so I'm just trying to decide what the most realistic / best course of action is.
I genuinely enjoy the time I spend with my Top, it's when I am away from him and in private moments with my own thoughts that I feel like I am in bizarro world.