My wife told me that she's polyamorous and wants a separation. I felt threatened, insecure, apparently all the normal things. I'm coming around, accepting that she can love multiple people. We still have a lot of ground work to address, rules and expectations, I have personal growth to address, all on top of a shaky marriage. We're seeing a marriage counselor who is quite accepting of my wife's needs. We see him again on Friday and I'm looking forward to it.
The here and now:
So, my wife got a call from a newish friend who needs a ride to a storage unit in a town about 3 hours away round trip. This friend has a reputation for disturbing relationships on shaky ground. A rumor that was brought to my attention yesterday while we were hanging out at a friends house. My wife had left to get lunch and I was returning from the restroom when I caught the tail end of the conversation, pried a little bit, and discovered who they were talking about.
So I'm concerned. Less concerned about her relationship with this friend, he's a nice enough guy. However, I am concerned about how their friendship will affect our relationship. I'm also concerned that if she gets intimately involved with her friend it could be easier for her to not mention it than to discuss it.
I'm also concerned that my thoughts might be a manefestation of jealousy. Aditionaly I don't know how to frame these concerns so my wife dosn't take it as a personal attack.
This is a good test for me. Any guidance is appreciated.