So, my girlfriend expressed recently that polyamory is something that she'd be interested in exploring. We're currently in a monogamous relationship, which was mutually decided when we started dating. Now, I'm completely monogamous, but I also don't want to deny her what may be a crucial part of her identity. I'm reluctant to open up the relationship, though, as previous experiences I've had in open relationships have ended horribly. I'm aware that communication is crucial, and that both of our insecurities and needs need to be adressed and worked through. We haven't talked much on the subject yet, since, I'll admit, this is a little out of my depth and I was hoping to get some guidance/pick up some more information before we come to any sort of agreement.
I love her quite a bit and I want to respect her needs without sacrificing my own.
I know I have some basic "requests" (for lack of a better word), but I don't know how fair my requests are to her and don't want to unintentionally create a double standard (though, there may already be one because I have no intention of seeing other people ?)
We'll, here they are:
1. That I be her primary partner
2. I want to know who she goes out with/if she starts dating someone else and that they know about me.
3. Somehow I'm more comfortable with her dating other people than sleeping around, but if she were to keep multiple sexual parters then to wear protection and get regular std tests.
I still don't know how I feel or what to expect. Any input or advice is greatly appreciated
Thank you !