Originally Posted by Anneintherain
She should have the right to know where she stands so she can choose to leave the relationships if monogamy is important to her. She should have the right to ask for a DADT situation if she prefers that (though I don't really see how that would work when you are all friends). She should get to decide if she is willing to be in a mono-poly relationship or wants to explore poly herself, I'm not clear that they've really discussed what all this means enough for her to even know what options there are or what he wants out of a relationship.
Well, as far as I know from what both of them have individually vented to me (not assumptions), she is not comfortable with him being "poly", and he is not comfortable with giving up his "poly" lifestyle. However, both of them are clinging to whatever relationship & commitment they have, and don't seem like they necessarily want to give up each other as people. So they've kinda got themselves stuck in an awkward situation. She does not want to be poly, she is strictly monogamous, and a very jealous person who does not want to share her partner or be shared. She tried to make it seem like she was okay with a DADT situation, but obviously she was fooling herself to make him
happy, and was not actually okay with it. Why she "allowed" it anyways, I don't know.