Originally Posted by Tonberry
Personally, I would not stop things with the girlfriend. I would tell my children "she is an important person in my life, and I don't abandon important people in my life. Not you, not your mother, not my girlfriend".
If you just dismissed her when she's not convenient, I feel it would give the message that you might very well do the same thing with your wife or your children.
I really do agree with this ^.
my kids do not have a problem with me being poly, but the circumstances in which I came out to them were far different. when I remarried 5 years ago my son was 11 and there was all kinds of drama because he didn't want someone else to be part of my life. I think it was because of the stressors we'd been under... divorce from their dad, leaving a religious cult, moving a bunch of times and being homeless... when a kid feels like it's just one more tragedy to deal with, they get overwhelmed. they don't always have the tools to adjust to a new paradigm. do what you can to make them feel secure and loved... and I agree about family counseling. it helped us when we were in the midst of adjustments. now my kids pretty much take things as they come, including my younger daughter.