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Old 06-11-2012, 06:49 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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I think it's kind of strange to think of people as being "good enough," or not, for a primary relationship. Plenty of people are very content in secondary relationships, and the fact that they are "secondaries" has nothing to do with their worth as a partner but more to do with other things, such as time available to spend on a a committed relationship, geography, not sharing households, already being in other relationships, etc. Still others take a more egalitarian approach and have co-primaries or no primaries, choosing instead not to have any hierarchy or ranking system at all.

If you're having success meeting and getting along with people who happen to also have other relationships, great. Why not judge how it goes and how it fits into your life on the dynamics of the relationship itself, rather than some label, which really doesn't mean that much anyway? It's all about how you relate to the person or persons, and whether everyone's needs are met, after all.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 06-11-2012 at 07:03 PM.
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