View Single Post
  #10  
Old 06-11-2012, 05:16 PM
SNeacail's Avatar
SNeacail SNeacail is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Near Disneyland
Posts: 1,503
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by msue View Post
In the same breath, the lady he has fallen for doesn't believe that he can love me and her at the same time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by msue View Post
I guess it could work, but I am not so sure I am able to get over my fear and jealousy...so I am trying to be open but at the same time just confused...
I would think that these two things are related. I don't think I would ever be comfortable having my husband see someone who didn't support my place in his life. Do a tag search on "jealousy", "foundation", "boundaries" and there may be a few others that catch your eye. Recovering trust after an affair is extremely difficult, and even harder if that person is still in the picture. You and your husband have a LOT of work to do on your relationship, it sounds like there are years of issues to address and work through. Poly is not something that works well when the primary relationship is faltering, you need a strong foundation.

Jealousy and fear rears it's head even in the most die hard poly people, so in this you are not alone. Use it as a tool, why are your jealous? What are you afraid of? What does he have to do to ease those fears? What do you need from him? etc.
Reply With Quote