Originally Posted by Anneintherain
I hate to say this, as I like to think kids are open to different dynamics but.. I'd just keep poly and other relationships out of the house when it's affecting the kids that much.
I am curious, how long have you and your girlfriend have been involved, sounds like about a year? Having somebody spend the night two months after letting your kids know you were dating sounds like too much too soon. Your kids already met your girlfriend? Did they like her when they thought she was just a friend?
I am tending to agree, it's too painful for them. Too overwhelming.
It may have all been too much too soon. I think I was partly living in dreamland where everyone would just be one big happy family and my GF would be seen as Aunty T and everyone would be happy. Maybe I should have been born in the 50's and lived in a Commune in the 60's/70's. I think that was my mentality -- it still is... everyone just loving and accepting and getting along with everyone else. Nice sentiment/dream/mindset/DNA however, not very practical when faced with the Reality of human nature.
Previously they knew her to be a friend of mine and my wife, yes.
The bottom line is I suppose, I could and should view it as my 'sex life' and or 'intimate life' and you don't share that with kids. We're not living on a Commune, they are not ok with it (the younger of the 3 anyway) and maybe with time they will be... but how I live and what I do and how I do it and with whom, should be private. And though there has been zero public displays of affection with the kids, just them knowing I'm sleeping upstairs if we're visiting and or sleeping over if I'm visiting...it is too much for them. Plus the fears of losing their Family / Foundation / Daddy and Mommy and the weirdness and hurt of it all against their sense of what is 'right'... maybe we just need to move to BC and find ourselves a Commune and or Community. Calgary has an intentional community I've thought about maybe moving to too. Anyway. Blah blah blah.