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Old 11-30-2009, 07:04 PM
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redsirenn redsirenn is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Sunny CA
Posts: 293

It seems your intuition is pushing you in the best direction... You say you love him, but you are unsure of what to do. If I met someone who criticized me like that, I would leave him. (comparing me to other women, saying off handed comments about how he attracts people with "problems", etc.)

Also - EVERYONE has baggage. if anyone wants a relationship with someone, they have to realize that and know that it is a part of the person. Baggage can be a good part of someone if said person can work through it to become a better person. So, to assume you won't have baggage one day is naive.

AND "not having a filter" is Bullshit and immature. YES you should share things, be open, and honest. It sounds to me that he said that as an excuse for his bad behavior. If he truly cared for you, he would frame things better, while still holding on to the original meaning.

If I were you, I would ask myself this (for any one!): Why would I EVER want to be with someone who doesn't want me, or who treats me in a way that hurts me?

If you raise your standards and make a clear list of what is TRULY important to you in a relationship, those people WILL come to you... This especially works if you love yourself first and have confidence in your value in the world.

Here is an example of such a list (yours is personal to YOU, so may be different)

These are the things you have to do to end a relationship with me:

* Lie actively or by omission
* Be emotionally abusive by constantly criticizing me or not supporting my endeavors
* Assume that you are number one in my life. I am.
* Whine about how the world is always out to get you. You are in control of your own happiness.
* Cheat on me or deceive me
* Break relationship agreements and step over my boundaries
* Disrespect me, my family, my friends, or even my cat
* Become stagnant in life and stop improving yourself and our relationship
* Be disrespectful of my time by frequently cancelling plans last minute with no good reason – Or even always assuming me to always be available last minute.
* Rush me or push me in making decisions

These are things I need:

* Love, compassion, caring, respect, loyalty, dependability, kindness, great sex J, time…
* The opposite of the Relationship Death List!
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