Well, it takes a lot of work on HIS part to start making deposits in the love bank again - you're not going to just "get over it" without his actions. You need to get a feeling that he is following through with consistent actions.
Are you in counselling together, or each individually?
Please check out The Birdcage - an open, friendly Polyamory forum for all parts of New York State
"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb