I haven't figured this one out yet. But, I want children hands down, no doubt. I'm 31, so time's ticking and my biological clock is L-O-U-D!
Both the people in my life know that I want children and would make wonderful auntie and uncle. But, I don't see either of them wanting to be direct co-parents with me.
The two main needs that need to be met before I have children, the way I see it, are money and energy. I would be an amazing mother, I think, but I am not financially stable enough yet and don't have a large enough home for kids. I also need breaks because of chronic low energy.
I've thought about lots of scenarios. I've had very unsuccessful relationships and have started rethinking the whole conventional scene of living with a man, getting pregnant, having kids together. I could easily live with a platonic friend who also wants children and would be interested in helping out with things like cooking and putting the kids to bed. Having a roommate/platonic friend would help a lot with rent/heating costs. My lovers would be involved too, but not necessarily mommy and daddy.
Not sure if this is what you were after with your questions, but this is where I'm at with parenting in my life.
I would also love to hear how others do it.
My heart is too big to fit into one person.