06-10-2012, 06:53 AM
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Grande Prairie, Alberta, Canada
But I told my fiancee of the incident and she helped to cheer me up a little bit. The following is the conversation I had with my fiancee after she read the conversation I had with "S".
Brittany: Why did u say anything about it to her? We may never find someone
me: Because I had to get it off my chest to SOMEONE. And like I said I know things about her she hasn't told anyone else, and she knows things about me that only you know. So I thought she would be the best person to tell
since she already knows so much about me...
Brittany: And this is why I was content being a closet poly... With that said I can't believe how bitchy she became.. Like I understand she has her own opinion that's fine but she didn't have to be so disrespectful with it.
And why didn't u say that ur fiance feels the same way?
me: I can't BELIEVE she said that it was wrong...
yes, I did. It was earlier on in the convo, I don't have that part anymore..
Brittany: Oh ok I don't like how she was makin u sound like an adulturer
me: Neither did I...
Like I said, it's not like I was saying "Hey, you should be poly cause I'm poly"... I just wanted someone to know and to be accepted.
I'm sick of feeling different...
Brittany: Like wtf.. Some of the things she said has crossed my mind don't get me wrong. There r times when I feel low and think "why can't u just be happy with just me" but at the same time. This whole poly thing mainly happened because of me and I know that you love me.
Babe , "A" and "J" and "T" know and they are all accepting of it. You should talk to "A" more
me: really? You told "A"?
Brittany: But now u see that, being a closet poly is the safer why to go
me: It's safer yes, but I don't want to have to hide it
Brittany: And of course I told "A"! Baby I tell "A" everything lol
Almost as much as I tell "J"
There r people that know and accept this.
me: That's the way I was with "S"
Told her everything...
Oh jesus... I'm actually crying...
Brittany: Things will probably blow over hun I can't see her staying mad at you forever
me: I just don't want to have to feel so different...
I can't believe I'm actually crying....
like a lot...
Brittany: baby that's the lifestyle we chose. Its not an easy road to walk . Someday she will come to terms with it and eventually more people will know but right now I don't think u need to worry about it. Right now its just me and you, we may never find a third person. We may never actually be that different. I'm happy with the way things are now or the way they could be.
But try not to be upset . We don't need to be right now
As for things between you and her give her time to cool down
And message her tomorrow
me: Baby, as much as I love you and as much as I like things as they are now, I can not guarantee you that I won't fell in love with other people. I may never act on the feelings, but they will be there. I can't change who I am, with the third person or without. It doesn't mean I don't love you any less obviously, I just want you to know I've been supressing feelings and urges ever since I was in grade 10 and was with "K"... It's not like I just got with you and decided I was going to be polyamorous... I've been fighting it my whole life because I didn't want to be different... Because I thought I HAD to be a certain way.
It's not something that I can change. I'm always going to be like this.
Brittany: You realize ur talkin to the person that had like 3 relationships on the go at once right? I'm the same way, its like how I love "L". I know how you feel. I know ur upset because ur different but take comfort in the fact that when its u and I, u r not different u do not need to feel like u r different.
Brittany: And I don't care how many people u love as long as u will always love me, because no matter how many I love, you will always own the bigger piece of my heart
me: I love you so much baby. I haven't cried since I was 12... But I love you so much. At least I know there's one person who understands me in my life.
I'm still crying, I just can't stop... But I do feel better doll.
Brittany: I know we don't get the chance to talk as much as we used to, and I mean actually have a deep heart to heart convo. But baby I am always and will always be here for you especially when u feel like this. I was always called the whore in high school because of the way I feel so I know what your going through. And because of that I am always here to talk about this kinda stuff with u. Your my fiance yes , but your also my best friend. So I do feel comfortable talking about these things with you baby
me: I honestly don't think I've ever been so grateful in my entire life to know anybody as I am to know you baby.
So yeah, that's been my night tonight. I have to get some sleep, I have to get up and cut down trees for 10 hours tomorrow starting at 6:00 am. I just wanted to let some people know how my first attempt at coming out to a friend went. Not well obviously... I'm a state. washing the tears off of my face and heading to bed. Good night everybody.
Last edited by PolyMister; 06-10-2012 at 07:29 AM.