Lies, Confusion, Fear
I'm new to the board - I joined earlier this week and have been reading and trying to understand what I really came here for - which is multifaceted.
My main thing now is recovering from lies. We're both in counseling and we are seeing a counselor together for couples therapy. This relationship is very important for us but we've got some hurdles.
1 - history of dishonesty
2 - distance (he moved about a 2 hour plane trip away)
His way of handling conflict is to hide from it. Mine is to barrel through and process it and sometimes drive us all nuts in the process which makes him consider hiding from it which makes me barrel through all the more like a truck with a plan. You get the picture - It can be a whirlpool pulling us under.
WHEW! that was a lot to get to my question:
For those of you who have felt that fear of it's a lie or another piece of dishonesty - How do you deal with it? My fear gets me into 3-alarm fire mode. My fight or flight response is strong and I am looking for coping techniques that I may be able to use to take that deep breath, recognize what we have and maybe distance myself for a bit before I discuss it.