Thread: Twice Burned
View Single Post
  #8  
Old 11-30-2009, 05:22 PM
Erosa's Avatar
Erosa Erosa is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Earth
Posts: 138
Default Second Flame

Thank you for all the comments and support. Here is the second part of the tale. LOL

(Part 2)

Having extracated myself from the situation with Becky and Bill, I firmly resolved not to let myself be so taken advantage of again.

I'd learned two good rules;

1) Verify everything
2) Look for MATURE adults.

I was soon to discover that those rules were not enough however.

Before I knew it, I was caught up in a whirlwind romance with a woman I had been friends with for years.

She was a praticing mono with a husband, but extremely lesbian curious. She also was one of the few people I could talk to for hours without ever getting bored.

Her name was Holly; gem eyed, Pagan, psychic, and fascinatingly intellegent. For all her IQ points though, she was flighty in a darting, fairy-like way. I adored her, and had know since I met her (when I was a minor) that making the leap from intense admiring friendship to love would be all too easy for me, and her also, once there were no statutes in the way.

Somehow though, my age of majority had come and gone and nothing had changed. Then after the incident with Becky and Bill, I was pretty much determined to be single for the rest of my life.

But Holly, who by this time had moved across the nation, managed to change my mind.

I don't remember who's idea it was for us to begin a triad with her husband, Mike, and her and I, but I do recall thinking it was a drastic miscalculation.

I proceeded to become their 'girlfriend' through an exclusively long distance relationship. There were long phone conversations between all three of us and at first everything was quite successful.

The problems began when I discovered that they were using me to tell vivid stories to one another in an attempt to revitalize their sex life. This hadn't bothered my with Becky and Bill, not at all. But with them, I felt violated somehow by this. (It took me a year to figure out why.)

The second part of the problem began when they started having increasing marrital troubles, and each coming to me privately for 'council'. Most of the time, this council took the form of a telephonic bitching session about how horrid the other spouse was.

Mike was the worst about this; telling me tale after tale of Holly's misdeeds, mistakes, and mishaps. I frankly, just got sick of hearing him beat her down.

At last I told Holly that enough was enough. Mike, I explained, no longer appealed to me in any way. If she wanted me, she'd have to have me by herself, but Goddess forbid that I would ever share myself with her husband.

It was a rediculous demand, and even I knew that at the time. And Holly, unsurprizingly, chose her husband over me.

That did hurt a little but I had expected it, and as their marriage seemed to be on it's very last legs, I thought that if I were to remain in the wings, I would likely be able to begin something beautiful with Holly once Mike was out of the picture.

Here is the irony in how right but also wrong I was. Holly did devorce Mike about a year later. But, though I had made it clear my love for her had not waivered, she selected a series of men, all of whom treated her horribly, over me.

My 19 year old heart was about shattered at this point, but the final indiganty was that she at last selected a man, married him, and then had the emotional sociopathy to request that I be the singer/songwriter/witness at their wedding.

I declined...


I have come to understand that the bottom line problem in this relatoinship was that the flow of love was uneven.

I loved Holly. Holly loved Mike. Mike loved... himself.

But this relationship did teach me the final rules that I have come to hold to when looking for a poly relationship.

1) Verify
2) Maturity
3) Love must be mutual, or not at all.
4) Stability is paramount; a third will never stabalize what two cannot carry alone.
5)Loyalty is absolute. You may have many lovers, but you must never betray them to each other.
__________________
With all my heart I will love and not fail,
With all my soul I will fly and not fall.
Reply With Quote