Originally Posted by Magdlyn
gene bean, you know your bf has no right to insist on a triad and no other configuration of poly. His way or the highway? Fuck that shit.
Well-functioning triads are as rare as hen's teeth (I am a hinge in V with triad potential but we are taking things extremely cautiously slowly). You can't just *make* one happen. Usually poly people date separately, even married couples. If the stars align, perhaps you will get lucky to find a woman interested in both of you... someday.
Til that time, you need to put your foot down and insist your bf calms the f down about this stupid burningman deadline. Way to take the fun out of loving and fucking!
Good luck with therapy. Poly won't work if your self esteem is rock bottom and you're doing everything just to please your bf in fear of being dumped. If he does leave, you will find Mr and Ms Right, when you get your own head on straight... when you are strong and ready.
I don't think poly penguin is in a rush to have more threesomes. He has discovered that he is poly and because Genebean is struggling wtih her insecurities, he is putting his own happiness and nature on hold. But he feels caged by an agreement that he made to try to ease their relationship into poly.
I understand that you're feeling pressured, but all that poly penguin is saying is ha after Burning Man, he's going to start living his life as a poly person. It's up to you whether you accept that or not. Does that mean he's going to immediately find another partner, probably not. But you're being given the chance to come to terms with the idea that you aren't going to have your magical FFM triad where you're the center of their worlds. It never really works out that way.
Please get therapy as soon as you can. Ask the therapist to put you on the list for a call if there is a cancellation and tell her that you are honestly struggling. Sometimes they can get you in sooner.