View Single Post
Old 06-08-2012, 05:04 PM
ThatGirlInGray ThatGirlInGray is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Northern Cali
Posts: 552

Originally Posted by msue View Post
It is very hard to understand how a person can love 2 people at the same time.
Is it? One of the most common responses to this sentiment is: Did you stop loving the child(ren) you already had when the next one came along? Of course not. Yes, the love between family members and within friendships is different than romantic love, but most people readily accept that human beings can love many family members, friends, etc. Is it really such a stretch of the imagination, then, to see how a person could romantically love 2 (or more) people at the same time?

However, just because something is (or becomes) understandable doesn't mean you have to allow or accept it in your personal relationships. I can totally understand being shocked, scared, or whatever else you're feeling. As you said, this is different from anything you've experienced before. While loving 2 people can be easy, dealing with time management and making sure everyone's needs are being met can be hard. A relationship between 2 people can be difficult- more people involved can make it even MORE difficult.

Because there are so many ways to be poly, there isn't going to be one "lifestyle" to understand. You might want to head over to the Blogs section to read some of the various ways people successfully "do" poly. And if you have specific questions about any certain aspect, looking at the "Tag Search" might help. You could look at everything tagged for "time management", for example, or "jealousy", or "mono/poly", or what have you.

I think it's great that you're willing to try to understand where he's coming from and I wish you luck!
Pan Female, Hinge in a V between my mono (straight) husband, Monochrome and my poly (pan) partner, ThatGuyInBlack
Reply With Quote