Originally Posted by neo651
They are not casual relationships, she loves them both very deeply but I can't help feeling they are competition and obstacles in the way of my happiness.
After reading your posts, this comment of yours is the one that keeps coming back to me. I think this is significant. No one should expect relationships to be the source of our happiness. That can only lead to disaster. Find ways to be happy within yourself, whether or not you are in a relationship. Then you bring that happiness into your relationships, rather than expecting to get it from them. Perhaps this is why you've always compared other women to her. It seems you have idealized being with her as the key to being happy and content. All I can say is that is dangerous, and probably a huge part of why you feel such jealousy. You may want to do some reading on co-dependency.